The last days of a year

For many people, the last days of a year are a time of reflection, resolution and absolution. It's one of those in-between times, long, cold nights spent pondering the very depths of your existence. To me, these last few days before New Year's Eve, after the buzz and excitement of Christmas is wearing off, seem like the last days of real relaxation to enjoy before a long stretch of hard work. With graduation approaching, a million future-related fears on my mind, it's difficult to enjoy the here and now. Somehow, by July next year, I will have reached the end. At least, that's what it feels like. Two years of hard work and a final grade in my hand and it's all over.

Then again, this looming black line on the horizon that feels like an expiration date is also the mark of freedom. Between July and October, there will be a space, a gap, a time of transition between my life now and the future. And then the next chapter, that common metaphor, will unfold before my eyes. And like my favourite authors, it will manage to scare me, exhaust me and yet always exhilarate me.

But the questions that sneaks up behind your back while you are working so hard on a goal is: What is the point? What is the greater purpose?

And each time it is shocking how answerless I feel. It seems as though, all our life, we are working hard to work even harder in the future. So that sneaky question really has a point, doesn't it?

I recently read an article about downshifting, slowing down your life and finding meaning in small things. It's a goal that seems to have taken a hold of many people in recent times. With the world shrinking and spinning faster and faster, we are slowly losing contol of it all. We are all losing the real meaning of why we are here, te meaning of our lives.

Some people seem to seek freedom and inspiration on travels, by delving into foreign cultures and communities. Others close their eyes and plod blindly on through their daily lives, trying hard not to hear the sneaky question that is always a few steps behind them.

A person very dear to me once said that one shouldn't ponder "deep, philosophical questions" when it's dark. So this is me stopping. Or at least finishing the deep, philosophical thought with a happy once.

Personally, I feel lucky to have this box of inspiration. It reminds me everyday of what I'm working for, of why I love my life and the people in it. Seeing and recording the beauties of your day to day life is a great reminder of the meaning of life. No need for journies abroad for the present. They can wait for that In-between time.

One way to remind yourself daily of the little beauties is writing down three of them. Here I go, off the top of my head:
1. Taking a brisk walk in stormy weather.
2. Making a ham-and-cheese-bake with my mum.
3. Having milk and warm bread for dinner.

(two of todays beauties are food-related! Proof of a what a food-addict and lover I am! ;) )

Enjoy post-Christmas laziness! 
Love, x